It is 2.20pm on the hill at the Cathedral End of the Adelaide Oval. England are clinging on to the third Test for dear life. Australia are threatening to cut loose. Travis Head is on strike and the larrikins in the crowd are having an immense amount of fun mocking the Barmy Army and their team’s plight.
Head gets ready to face another ball from Will Jacks, England’s willing, gritty, ineffectual part-time spin bowler, who has generally been getting thumped all around the ground with merry abandon by Australian batsmen, who are giving the distinct impression they cannot believe their luck.
Jacks bowls. It’s short. It often has been. Head rocks on to his back foot and slashes at it outside his off stump. Someone shouts ‘catch it’. The ball flies off the edge towards Harry Brook at slip. More specifically, it flies right at his head. It is very much what is referred to as ‘a catchable height’.
Brook is a fine slip-fielder. Perhaps England’s best. But perhaps he is not ready. Perhaps his concentration has wavered. Perhaps the ball is just travelling too fast. But instead of trying to catch the ball, he takes evasive action and ducks out of the way of it. The ball chortles and chuckles its way to the boundary rope. The four runs bring up Australia’s 100.
The Aussies on the hill are doubled up with laughter. ‘You’re supposed to catch it, mate,’ one of them yells at Brook, ‘not run away from it.’ Another invokes the spirit of World War I. ‘That’s why the Poms had to send us over the top at Gallipoli,’ he shouts out.
And so, another dismal day unfolds for England. Another day closer to losing the Ashes in three successive Test matches. Another day when England’s flawed planning comes under scrutiny. Another day when Australia are just too good in every department.
Travis Head celebrates reaching his hundred as he takes the third Test out of the reach of England
Head (left) and his fellow South Australian Alex Carey walk off the Adelaide pitch after their mammoth partnership
It is days like these where one thing after another goes wrong. It is days like these where you start to feel cursed. It is days like these that start well and end badly. It is days like these where a tour of Australia starts to seem like an ordeal by heat and fire and mockery and failure.
And the truth is that Head has become a symbol of England’s failure and Australia’s spirit. ‘Travball One, Bazball Nil’, the headlines said after Head had marmalised England’s attack in Perth to lead his team to the victory in the first Test from which England have never recovered.
There is a symmetry to this. It was Head who first plunged England into misery a few weeks ago. Now it is Head who seems intent on putting England out of its misery before the Ashes circus even gets to Melbourne and Sydney.
All around the Adelaide Oval, Aussie fans wear t-shirts with Head’s image printed on them, looking wacky, mouth open, shades on, making a victory sign with the fingers on both hands. ‘Travball’ is the only word written on it. Head is Australia’s cult hero, the symbol of casual indomitability, and Friday burnishes his reputation.
Head moves through the gears after the Brook incident. He brings up Australia’s 200 with a six hooked just too high for Zak Crawley at backward square and, again, the imagery of that seems powerful. Batting partners come and go but Head stays at the crease. He only falters when he gets to 99. He is a South Australian. This is his home turf. He has scored centuries here in each of the past three summers but it is still special. He tightens up a bit. He cannot pierce the ring of fielders that Joe Root has arranged to try to stifle him.
Jofra Archer comes into the attack. Head, impatient, nervous, tries to cut him behind square but it goes straight to Brook at gully. Brook puts it down. The England fans groan. Head summons a sheepish grin.
Root comes on to bowl again. This time, Head makes no mistake. He lifts a drive high over mid-off so that it bounces once before it crosses the boundary rope. The crowd rises to acclaim him. Head raises his arms in the air and then takes his helmet off. He lowers himself to his knees and kisses the wicket.
‘Yeah,’ he says later, ‘they took the p*** out of me for that in the dressing room but it felt right. I tried to be patient. I was stumped at Lord’s trying to slog Root out of the ground so I wanted to bide my time. I got there eventually.’
Head does not stop there. He continues to flay England. He and Alex Carey, his fellow South Australian, who got a century in the first innings, bat England out of the game. Carey gets a half century. The two men walk off, arms round each other’s shoulders at stumps, to a standing ovation.
Head kisses his home wicket after reaching his ton. He has scored centuries here in each of the past three summers
Head has done a fine job of grinding England’s bowlers down before the final two Tests of the series
England send another coach to come to speak to the media afterwards. None of the players want to front it. Australia send Head. He hobbles in to the room and strokes his handlebar moustache. ‘I love the energy here,’ he says. ‘You’re close to the crowd. I can see some of my mates over on the terrace. Or when they come out of the bar, anyway. I want to enjoy it, too. You don’t play for ever.’
He is relishing the moment but there’s a steel about him that too many of England’s players have not been able to locate in this series so far. Travball has done what Bazball wanted to do but could not. And Travball does not just want to win the Ashes here at the Adelaide Oval. It wants to make England suffer. It wants to keep their bowlers out in the field for as long as possible on Saturday. It’s Travball two, Bazball nil now and Travball has plans.
‘We spoke before the day started about trying to be ruthless as much as we can,’ Head says. ‘We have got back-to-back matches coming up in Melbourne and Sydney. We want to get overs into their bowlers.’
Day Three at the third Test might have seemed bad but if Head gets his way, England’s ordeal in Australia is only just beginning.